Not a New Year’s Resolution #OpBabyWeight

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I took on #OpBabyWeight at some point last year yet have somehow ended up fatter than ever. Despite trying numerous diets and fads, I could comfortably fill most of White Dee’s wardrobe and my thighs are as dimply as a pre-pubescent Harry Styles. I just don’t think the motivation was truly there.

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I did toy with the idea of dropping it all together. I think I might have a dose of body-morphia as I don’t really see what others do when I stand naked in front of the mirror. I’m the queen of self-adoring selfies and can make a Quagmire-chin disappear on my trusty iPhone camera in seconds. When buttons pop off shirts and knickers leave red marks around my midriff, I put it down to the way I sat that day, and not the sheer of size of what is being crammed into them.

When I casually floated the idea of giving up my baby weight challenge around the Christmas table, I expected my family to tell me I looked fabulous exactly how I was, but their reaction was markedly different. My in-laws frowned, Craig looked deflated and my jaw virtually hit the pile of gravy-laden roasties on my plate. I know these people love me, but I get the feeling it’s correlative; shrink me and there’ll be less of me to love but the same amount of adoration as before - makes sense right?

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So I’m going on a health-kick in the New Year.

It’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle change.

It’s not a New Year’s resolution either. New Year is good for one thing only; copious amounts of alcohol, carpet stain remover and hangovers. I’m also all too aware that New Year’s Day is possibly the worst ever time to KO a healthy eating plan given a full English is the best way to stop a bellyful of beer repeating on you when you’re knee deep in morning nappies. Straight after this epic binge is my birthday where I’m usually whisked away for a 3 course meal and a naughty night away. No way will I feel in the mood to show Craig a good time if he’s scoffing down wine, steak and profiteroles, and I’m staring at a plate of salad and glass of water.

I’m not making excuses. This journey does have a very clear start-date. On the 5th January, I’ll be going through a guided detox thanks to the amazing Alex Smallman. A former fitness professional and now franchise owner of JuicePlus+. She’s fun, inspiring and full of positivity; exactly what I need when the scotch eggs start calling for me from the fridge.

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On week one she’s putting me through a punishing detox and has already warned me that I’ll be cutting out dairy, gluten and sugar. As someone who doesn’t even know what gluten is, this should be interesting and a real body shock. The effects will be tough, severe and brilliant all in one (expect child-like tantrums when she strips away my Diet Cokes and cherry bakewells).

It’s all about prepping me for month one where I’ll be on a Juice Plus+ plan (with vitamins and protein shakes) helpfully tarted up with delicious recipes designed by Alex especially for me.

Elsewhere, my battle with the bulge will be sponsored by Decathlon, NutriBullet, and a continued relationship with the gorgeous Lisa from Sculptlite, and one very special collaboration to be revealed in a few days time. Needless to say I have the very best equipment and people onboard who are all a Skype conversation away and ready to tell me off or pat me on the back when the occasion arises.

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I’ll try not to bore you all with dreadfully serious posts with leafy green recipes and pictures of me half-naked. There are still reviews galore from the likes of Dreams, Babymoov, Munchkin and La Roche Posay, it’s just that next month will be peppered with YouTube videos that will rival The Apprentice’s Felipe Alviar-Baqeuro’s Fat Daddy campaign, and Instagram pics of this mummy regaining a waist she hasn’t seen since 2005. Enjoy!

That’s it from me.

If you’re not pissed already, get on with it!

 


Detoxing with Juice to U

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Juice diets have been all the rage this year. Every single day I’ll spot that someone on my Twitter timeline is gearing up to begin a detox, sharing recipes, or struggling through one!

Not wanting to be left out, but way too lazy and irresponsible to make my own juices, I begged Juice to U for a review. Thankfully, the guys there took pity on me and let me trial a 3 day detox.

Who are they?

They take all the hassle out of detoxing. You simply sign up to a 3 day or 5 day detox and they’ll provide 100% natural juices packed full of all the nutrients you need to safely detox. These are prepared using fresh, local produce, then bottled and delivered directly to your door.

The Juice To U detox programme consists of 4 juices per day with a 3 hour period in-between juices. Your 9am Clean Green juice is the most important. This is stuffed with celery, cucumber, spinach, apples and limes and contains more nutrients than you would ordinarily consume in an entire week.

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At 12pm, you’ll drink Let’s Glow. This fruity little number contains oranges, apples, kiwis, grapes and strawberries. This will cleanse your digestive system and do wonders for your complexion. This will be followed up at 3.00pm with another Clean Green juice.

The final juice of the day is to be drank at 6.00pm. Berry Good has pineapple, blueberries, strawberries, apples and raspberries. This is bursting with antioxidants that play a major part in keeping your cardiovascular system in tip top shape.

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The price for a 3 day detox is £72.00 (+£12 delivery). For that you get all your juices and a couple of lemons (you should be drinking water in between juices - whacking a slice of lemon in there is supposed to accelerate the detox). Not cheap by anyone’s standards but then your paying for a quick fix.
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All deliveries are delivered on a Tuesday morning ready to start the programme on the Wednesday, the juices come neatly packaged with an ice pack to keep cool.

What you can expect?

Done safely, a juice diet has a multitude of benefits. Aside from the obvious weight loss, it’ll also leave you feeling revitalised, refreshed, rejuvenated and invigorated. Your skin is left clearer, your digestive system is flushed out, and (supposedly) it’s great for centering the mind.

Purging the body of solid food forces your body into detox mode. Much like spring-cleaning your home, your body will receive a thorough cleanse; forcing old toxins from every nook and cranny. Juices will provide a surge of nutrition without insoluble fibre getting in the way. Your cells are therefore inundated with micronutirents that immediately start doing the job they were intended to do, servicing every organ in the most efficient way possible.

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Herxheimer Reaction (otherwise known as a “healing crisis”) is the process of detoxification. The body is being flushed with goodness but all those old toxins are being swept away with it. Your organs are therefore overwhelmed as they try to cope with old parabens and toxins being delivered by the blood. This means you’ll often feel worse before you begin to feel better. Old injuries and illnesses may reappear, headaches, nausea, diarrhea and skin breakouts are also common. You may develop a phlegmy cough or cold-like symptoms and naturally you will feel tired.

My experience

It’s generally recommended to follow a vegan diet for a week before you ‘juice’ to make you’ve plenty of soft solids and vitamins onboard. I was on my usual diet of pizza, chips and other naughties. This definitely affected my experience.

Day 1

I nearly ruined the diet before my first juice of the day. I woke up, forgot I was even doing it, and started pinching bits of Dexter’s breakfast whilst preparing it. As soon as I saw the bank of juices lined up in my fridge, I quickly got back on track. I cracked open a Clean Green and sunk it pretty quickly. I won’t lie, it was horrible. Nose-pinchingly horrible. It’s not supposed to taste nice, but I really wasn’t expecting it to be so foul.

Let’s Glow was definitely the nicest of the three. This was pleasantly fruity and not dissimilar from Tropicana. There are bits of pulp swimming around in it but that’s to be expected of 100% natural juice. The enjoyment was short-lived however as I was back on the green stuff at 3pm.

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I didn’t start feeling hungry until my last juice of the day. This was, again, far worse than I expected. Berry Good tasted like red wine that had been fermenting in an open bottle overnight. As Craig cooked the kids food downstairs I laid in bed and had a little cry. It wasn’t painful but I was craving a bit of meat.

That night, the diarrhea hit and I didn’t make it to bed until 3am. Less said.

Day 2

Surprisingly, I actually felt better. I knew what I was in for and just got on with it. It felt quite good to be starving myself and I just kept thinking of the end goal and what the scales might say.

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I didn’t really experience any real symptoms until Craig got home. Juicing definitely makes you irritable and stupidly I’d picked this time to try and give up smoking too. This led to an almighty argument where I felt Craig wasn’t being ‘sensitive’ enough (or some such rubbish) and I stormed out of the house around 8pm. I *might* then have had 3 pints of lager at the pub and a small portion of chips from the chippy.

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Lemon water or beer… lemon water or beer…?

Day 3

I woke up feeling guilty as hell and needed to get back on track. Later that evening I was off on a weekend away with Craig and we were booked into a restaurant so I knew that food was inevitable. With a little determination I managed to stick to the diet the entire day before we left.

There were no symptoms at all other than extreme lethargy.

Conclusion

I weighed myself on the morning of day 4 and I’d lost 7lbs. This, despite my cheating. My stomach looked much flatter and my love handles had thinned out. I couldn’t notice any visible difference to my skin but my hair felt softer and my nails were less brittle. The most amazing thing about this diet was that my IBS cleared and I felt far less bloated.

Would I buy this again? Yes (now I know what’s expected). Okay, it’s expensive. But for those of us that only go in the fridge to grab a glass of wine and bar of chocolate (I wouldn’t even know what a blender looks like in an Argos catalogue!) it’s the easiest option. Don’t forget also that some of this cost will be offset by the savings on your food shop.

If you’d like to find out more head to juicetou.com or say hello on Twitter and Facebook.

 

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