So you’re a new mum and living on baby time. You’re absolutely exhausted, showers have taken a back-seat and you’re up half the night with your milk guzzler. The only time your breasts see the light of day is when there’s a baby attached and your other half has forgotten what they even look like.

Then routine sets in and baby gifts you a few hours sleep. It’s a right novelty to be in bed beside your man, but both of you start yawning as soon as your clothes come off.

It’s not even like sex pre-baby was that exciting. When you got down to it, an ovulation chart clouded your peripheral vision and any post-event formalities were silenced by the shoving of a cushion under your hips.

Well apparently a decline in your sex life isn’t limited to those on the cusp of, or indeed in the throes of, parenthood. A recent Newsnight expose into what us Brits are getting up to under the covers revealed very few of us are flinging each other around the bedroom as wantonly as we once did. Spurred on by Professor David Spiegelhalter’s book Sex by Numbers, Evan Davies did his best to guide us through some of the headlines without destroying what little appetite for sex we had left.

So apparently, on average we’re indulging in 3 bouts of penetrative sex a month… a month?! This is down from 5 times per month in the 90s. Masturbation (both self and mutual) has also been hit, as has foreplay. A few eternal pessimists have even gone so far as to state that the findings suggest British women are becoming increasingly dissatisfied by (and disinterested in) sex.

Those with a more open-minded and pseudo-curious approach have sought to find an answer to the decline. Journalists have scrambled to get people to open up about the effects of digital technology, finances and family on our sex lives - just last week I sat on the phone for 15 minutes shining a spotlight on our undercover activities for AFT (About Fcking Time: an online sex magazine for the thinking woman) - and other newspapers and magazines are poised to follow suit if they can find someone as candid as me.

My response? No, no and no. Sex is as important as studying politics. It might seem an arduous and laborious process but it has infinite benefits. Next time you get a babysitter on a Saturday night don’t rush to bank those Tesco vouchers and grab a free bowl of pasta at Bella Italia, sink a few pints then argue over who is paying for the taxi on the way home - this won’t translate into a fulfilled and sustained relationship, nor will you remember it a week after.

Good sex will do exactly that. You’ll remember it privately, and you’ll remember it together. Sexual experiences can be surprisingly enduring and serve us well when life becomes a bit lacklustre. Whether you’ve had a raging argument over whose turn it is to pay for petrol, or you’re pissed off that he’s having a beer and curry after work when you’re exhausted with the kids, tap into how you felt with your man between your legs and arguments seem less potent. The often risque subject of self-love can also cure all manner of ills including lethargy, depression and even (trust me on this one) writers block.

Making time for sex is therefore all-important. As many report technology is encroaching on their sex lives, instead use it to your advantage. Series link The Island and watch it the next day, leave the iPhone downstairs and let app notifications deliver you the headlines in the morning - just get in bed and get in a hour of pre-sleep exercise. Once you’ve done it, bloody talk about it; in a few days time talk your partner back into bed with the promise of something equally satisfying. It’s not his job, it’s not yours - some combined effort needs to happen.

“This is all very well Gemma, but I don’t have the time!”

If you need some time-out any from the stresses of everyday life in order to get your intimate time back on track, you could win a Luxury Hotel Break For Two courtesy of Red Letter Days & Durex, simply by telling them your sex toy status. Don’t worry, you don’t have to tweet the world with details of what’s buried in your sock drawer, it’s a 30 second entry form. The winner gets the luxury break at one of 90 locations across the UK, and 4 runners up will get luxury Durex Extreme Thrill Rabbit vibrators to jazz up play-time under the covers! Enter via the Durex website HERE

 

www.theprizefinder.com