Aug 13 2013

The Big Announcement

Posted on August 13, 2013 by admin

Yep, I’m pregnant!

I am a grand total of five weeks gone… Although, owing to the fact I have ridiculously inconsistent cycle lengths, the midwife could well decide we’re further along than that! But I won’t bore you with the biology. All that’s important at this stage is that as of April 2014 they will be a brand new My Mills Baby.

Given we’ve been working on this pregnancy for the last eight months, it’s Sod’s Law that the one month we decide to relax a little, we fall pregnant. Moreover, this is the one month I’ve had a cheeky sambuca when I’m ovulating. Sure, sperm hadn’t met egg at that stage but I did consume enough to get a starring role on Shameless.

So that’s it. For the next eight months my belly will swell to Death Star proportions. I might get one of those t-shirts that says “I’m not fat, I’m pregnant” just in case my friends club together to get me a subscription to Diet Chef for Christmas.

You see, I might be only five weeks but I’ve already had a range of symptoms. Most afternoons around 1.30pm you’ll find me with my head down the toilet, one hand holding my hair out of my face, and the other keeping Dexter at bay. He’s utterly fascinated by toilets at the moment but that’s another blog post.

I’m also struggling to sleep on my stomach, Now this could be psychological - or perhaps I’ve just reached the limit of how many pies you can get away with without morphing into Jo Brand. Either way it’s making it uncomfortable to sleep. So I’ve already gone and bought myself one of those enormous penis-shaped pillows to cuddle up to in bed.

It’s tiredness that has been the biggest giveaway though. The other day I fell asleep halfway through drafting a blog post (pen in hand). I woke up five minutes later to find my little prince nestled in my lap with one thumb in mouth, and the other twirling my uncapped pen. Thinking we were having a lovely mum & son moment, I stroked his head and told him all about the baby in mummy’s tummy.

When the doorbell rang I grudgingly got up to answer. To be honest, I needn’t have bothered as it was someone from Anglian Windows promising me they weren’t there to sell me anything, just to let me know how I could improve the energy efficiency of my home and save myself thousands. What nice guys they are!?

Having sent the 16-year-old in a suit packing, I walked past the hallway mirror and discovered Dex had drawn what I am insisting is a long and tall tree and two little bushes on my forehead - Thanks son!

So to summarise… I’m now in bed by 8pm, rolling around like an upturned turtle until 3am, up frantically writing the blog at 5am, falling asleep during core parenting hours, and waking up bang on 1.30pm with uncontrollable sickness akin to that of a 15-year-old who’s pinched one too many of daddy’s ciders.

Welcome to pregnancy!

All joking aside, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Having tried so hard to get pregnant after the disappointment of January’s miscarriage, I’m overjoyed to finally be carrying a little brother or sister (or both - I’ve already got a bet on with Craig that it’s twins) for Dexter. It was always a dream to have two-under-two and this will be our reality for a whole month when I give birth in April.

So bear with me if I’m a little forgetful over the next few weeks, and I apologise in advance for the dozens of tweets about maternity leggings, stretch marks, and fights with Craig when he rejects my name choices. Oh, and I’d avoid contacting me at all between the hours of 1.30pm and 2pm unless you want to come out in sympathy.

Much love to you all - Gemma, Craig, Baby Dexter, and Bump! xx

Jun 17 2013

“Why would you want two in nappies?”

Posted on June 17, 2013 by admin

It’s no secret that Craig and I are trying for another baby. It’s been 8 months now, and other than our miscarriage in January, nothing. Not one late period, not one faint pink line on a pregnancy test, nothing.

As well as charting, we’ve spent a fortune on ovulation sticks, I’ve been munching away on celery sticks without hummus (I know, I know - sounds horrible right?) in a bid to shed the pounds, and Craig’s ditched his morning coffee. We’ve been getting in plenty of early nights (even after World Wars 3, 4 and 5 over whose turn it is to wash up) and I’ve even taken to downing various homeopathic concoctions that a friends’ sisters’ cousins’ friend insisted helped her when they were trying.

Having just had a appendicitis scare, I informed the the doctor in A&E who was having a poke at my tummy about our baby-making mission. As she had access to some recent ultrasounds pictures that showed I had PCOS on my left ovary, she asked how long we’ve been trying and what, if anything, we’d been doing to boost our chances (presumably in case one too many folic acid tablets had bought on the crippling pain in my lower abdomen). When I spouted off all the things we’d been up to she looked absolutely incredulous, even more so when I tipped her off that Dexter is just 13 months old. Her response, like plenty others we’ve had, was to tell me I was mad and that I might be better waiting.

These sort of comments really get on my nerves. They suggest that Craig and I haven’t really thought through our decision, or are naive to the fact it’ll be hard work having two small children. I didn’t just wake up one morning and say to Craig “It would be quite cool to have another one, don’t you think?” - we’ve discussed it hundreds of times and have hundreds of reasons why we want another baby quickly. It isn’t just the romanticised notion of them playing together and becoming best friends, it also makes financial sense to us as regards childcare choices, work responsibilities, and our plans to move to Australia.

In terms of our plans, I want to have my children here in the UK. Despite much criticism, I think our NHS has a superior approach to ante-natal care and having had Dexter here, I like the idea of knowing what to expect for baby 2. Then, having already made inroads with our plans to emigrate to Australia, it also makes perfect sense to us to get this huge move done before both children reach school age. We feel it’ll be easier to uproot younger children who aren’t already in the school system, and won’t be too traumatized over moving away from the wider family.

As it’s likely that in Australia I’ll be more marketable than Craig in terms of work opportunities, we need to ensure that I won’t be taking anymore maternity leave when I have my feet under a desk. This means we’re keen to get the chaos of the early years over in one fell swoop so I can then dedicate all my attention on my career. Until then, I get to spend lots of time nurturing my babies and enjoying the early years. It all makes perfect sense.

Having two children quickly, for us, has never been in doubt. In fact, we’re so convinced it’s right for us that I refused to talk to a midwife about contraception following Dexter’s birth. Yep, laid up in the recovery ward following my c-section I told her that we’d be trying again as soon as my stitches would allow us to.

We just know that when we find out that baby 2 is safely growing in my tummy that all our hard work will be worth it. Until then, I’ll be keeping my ovulation calculator bookmarked and the bathroom cupboard stocked full of tests and potions. Back-to-back pregnancy might not be for everyone, but it is for us.

Anyone else trying to get conceive at the moment? There’s some really great advice over on What to Expect’s website - everything from secondary infertility, to fertility supplements, to conception myths. It’s well worth a visit if you’re looking for balanced and practical advice about any stage of the parenting life-cycle.

Apr 4 2013

Disappointment

Posted on April 4, 2013 by admin

This has been a week of two halves and I’ve had a pretty emotional time of it. Both Craig and I have been plagued with insomnia, sore throats, and earache, and poor old Dex has a front tooth coming through.

Despite this, I was optimistic that we’d finally get a positive pregnancy test and we’d be one step closer to being a family of four.

The signs were a little flaky as we had already tested ridiculously early and had a negative, but as March wore on there was no sign of Mother Nature. My chest felt heavy, I had a metallic taste in my mouth, and I was regularly being sick (with Dexter I was sick pretty much from Day 1). Although both Craig and I were both under the weather, our symptoms were hardly alike and I couldn’t help but feel a little excited.

Yesterday I rang Craig whilst he was working and convinced him to buy us another test. He was reluctant as he didn’t want me to have my hopes dashed but I can be pretty insistent and he relented. Needless to say, the test was negative. I threw it across the kitchen in frustration and curled up on the sofa sulking.

Later in the evening I was pouring myself a drink when I spotted the bastard thing in the corner and went to toss it in the bin - a quick glance down and the result had changed - it was positive. Faint. But a positive.

I bounded into the living room and pounced on Craig like Beethoven. It was impossible to get the smile off my face and I kept on and on to Craig saying “I knew it. I knew it” like there had never been any doubt. Craig was less optimistic and fished the instructions out of the bin to find an explanation for what was a conclusive negative magically turning into a positive.

I was due to go the doctors today for an unrelated blood test. We resolved that I’d beg the nurse to do a HCG screen and wait out the results. I promised I’d not get too excited and would wipe the grin off my face until we had confirmation. But come on, this is Gemma and I had a sneaky plan to test again today.

So today, after my blood test, I bought a Clearblue twin pack at the pharmacy and rushed home to test. I don’t need to tell you it was negative. To top it all off, just half an hour later, my period came.

All I’ve wanted to do all day is cry and sleep, yet I still can’t sleep, and neither could Dexter. We lay in bed with me stroking his hair, and him wincing through the pain of his latest tooth coming through. I’d truly forgotten what a bitch trying for a baby is. It feels like we’ve had heartbreak upon heartbreak since losing the baby back in January and I’m getting impatient. The thought of going through all this again next month is positively exhausting.

Now Craig is home we’ve had a few cuddles and vowed to try harder next month. I know we’re putting a lot of pressure on ourselves but it’s a dream of ours to have two under two so we’ll have to pick ourselves up keep on going.

Wish us luck x