Helping your child to socialise

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One of the most important skills you can teach your child, is how to socialise with their peers. Although it’s easy to assume that this begins with toddler classes where they are introduced to other children, in reality it begins in the home. In fact, in order to encourage your child to be a happy and productive member of society, it is important that these skills are nurtured and developed from their very first interactions with others, whether they are members of the family or friends. There’s a whole host of reading out there that helps you understand the skills your child develops through the different stages of their childhood, but here’s a few ideas for how to socialise your child in their formative years.

Becoming Adaptive

Choosing a nursery for your child can be quite overwhelming. There are many different types of nurseries, offering different hours, experiences and curriculum. As with everything nowadays, the internet is a great place to start. Pop “kindergarten near me” into Google and the results will show a number of childcare facilities local to you, including preschools, nurseries and children’s centres. You can then check out their websites to see their mission statements, the facilities on offer, and placement availability. Make a shortlist then call to arrange viewings taking a list of key questions so you know exactly what you are getting for your money, and what your child can expect.

Being able to socialise and integrate with others in a nursery setting will allow your child to become more adaptive to their surroundings. The fact you are not there, allows them to gain a little early independence, and also improve their confidence outside of their home environment. Each of us is on a journey through life that sees us encounter many different situations, with many different people, so it is important that we are adaptive, tolerant, and aware of the impact our actions have on others. A good nursery leader will help your child navigate these principles.

A Greater Chance Of Happiness

It has been shown through studies that children who are less socially adaptive are less likely to form intimate and long-lasting connections as an adult. By starting early, and teaching your child the social skills that they will need throughout their life, you are equipping them with the tools they require to have a happy and fulfilled life. The more opportunity your child has to interact with others outside of their normal circle, the better their socialisation skills will become.

A greater propensity for learning

Happy and confident children also have a keen appetite for learning. If your child is angry, aggressive, or frustrated, they are likely to be less productive at school. It is vital you communicate to your child that people are good at different things, and to be not be disheartened or jealous of others, instead, be proud and happy in yourself and other children will look to you as a friend. It is heartbreaking for parents to see their child shunned by their peers and isolated and lonely within the classroom, so ask your child who they played with daily. If a particular name crops up regularly, organise play dates outside of school to allow these early relationships to flourish.

Build Confidence & Communication Skills

One of the most demonstrable benefits of maturing social skills, is seeing your child’s confidence increasing, as well as their ability to communicate. A talkative and inquisitive child will hopefully have a hunger for knowledge, giving them the perfect start for their academic career. It is important to give children the best start possible in life by instilling a thirst for knowledge in them, allowing them to grow and develop, and find their place in our society.

 

Providing your child with plenty of social experiences will only benefit them as they negotiate the trials and tribulations of school-life. School days are not easy, especially when hormones kick in, or when confronted with moral and ethical dilemmas. So when all the groundwork is done, the single most important thing we as parents can do, is remain supportive and provide an open communicative home environment for our children; a haven from the excitement and drama of the playground. With this in place, you can’t go far wrong.

 

 


Nursery Design Ideas

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Perhaps you have already had your first child and need a refresher on the do’s and don’ts of putting together the newborn’s room, or it is your first one and you could are anxious to know how to combine taste, budget and longevity all in one. It is an exhilarating experience and one that you want to enjoy but it can be daunting especially when you hit the shops. These tips might help you create the perfect nursery that will grow with your child.

Style or Theme

It will help immeasurably if you can focus on one theme/concept because it will then put you in the mood to choose the necessary palette of colours and fabrics to complement your space, and to develop a cohesive design.

Paint

Focal point

Within the room there needs to be a focal point where perhaps there is a signature element. This could be the crib (this is the most common) or perhaps the alcove, large bay window or even a special piece of furniture such as a hand-crafted chest of drawers or a giraffe!

Textiles/fabric

Before you choose the paint or even pick up a brush, look and choose the fabric for the curtains - if you have bought paint on sale and it does not match, it’s a loss on every level (as well as time consuming!). Plus it is far easier to select colour with the technology of cross-matching than trying to do the same with fabric.

Paint

When you are about to choose your paint, bear in mind that it must be odourless (or at least low in odour), and in order to prevent the baby-to-be from being exposed to dangerous fumes, use a VOC-free brand.

As babies spend a great deal of time on their backs, it might be an idea to decorate the ceiling with either a soothing colour, pattern or even a mural.

Growing space

Like anywhere in the house, it takes time to really understand a space. This particular room will belong to baby for many years and it is a good idea to imagine how it will withstand all the stages of development. Will there be room for the toddler’s bed, room to stand while changing nappies beside the changing table? Making the most of the potential room space will serve you well.

Nursery

Feeding/Changing area

Newborns need feeding at various times of day and night. Look around for a comfortable chair or create a corner that will accommodate this routine. Padded armrests that are wide are handy plus an easy-clean surface.

Install a dimmer light system to maintain a soothing atmosphere at nights. This Axo collection Axo Light from Lampcommerce might just be the ticket! You can also use projected soft lights to add special effects onto the walls at night to induce baby to feed, sleep or relax. Otherwise keep a nightlight for when you need to feed late as this provides comfort.

You will also need an accessible changing and storage station for all the various cleaning paraphernalia (from nappies to lotions) so that you are not going to disturb your little one. Stock up while you can!

Lastly but not least Congratulations!


Shocks at Dexter’s first nursery parent’s evening

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I love Dexter’s new nursery. It’s attached to the school I went to as a child, and I was overjoyed when he got offered a place. Not only is super convenient for me to get to (2 mins walk door to door), it’s also rated among the top nurseries in Reading. The staff are mature ladies with kids of their own, and the emphasis really is on preparing them for school. In fact, his ‘foundation’ unit is included in the same e bulletin as the school’s, so you feel like your child has started their school journey already.

CPBTtz6WIAANetrFirst day…

Within a few days Dexter was getting himself dressed and waiting by the back door an hour before we had to leave. He’d run to the school smiling and there were no tears when it was time to say goodbye. His enthusiasm hasn’t waned and he likes it so much I’ll often pull him back into line when he plays up by saying “Do you want to go to nursery today? Well behave then”.

Yet his first parent’s evening came as a bit of a shock. Don’t get me wrong, it was as thorough and comprehensive as I expected from such an amazing school and I’m not disappointed by Dexter either - it just seems I see a radically child at home to the one they see at nursery everyday.

Shock #1 - He doesn’t wee there

He’s into his fourth week now and only once have I been passed a carrier full of sodden clothes. In fact, we’re so encouraged by Dexter’s progress, he doesn’t wear any nappies at all now - even on long car journeys. I credit the school for this as much as ourselves. I know he is regularly shown to the toilet and the nursery are incredibly supportive to children learning the ropes. However it seems my little lad hasn’t managed one wee in the school’s facilities.

His teacher has even allowed him to take in his favourite toys into the toilet cubicle and propped them up on the loo roll dispenser to keep him company. Yet Dex just rolls his eyes and walks away.

Often when I pick him up, we’ll walk to the shop to buy a packet of sweets for after dinner. This means, he’s often going 4+ hours without emptying his bladder! This is absolutely not the nursery’s fault but I think I’m going to have to get him to take a tinkle in different toilets when we’re out and about so he can get used to it.

DexterFirst day…

Shock #2 - He’s pretty much mute

I know Dexter’s vocabulary is woefully limited. We’ve taken him to speech therapy and had more than one row with the GP over it. At home however he is a constant babbler. We often joke he’s fluent in Korean as he thinks he makes perfect sense and we’re the idiots for not understanding.

Yet Dexter hasn’t said so much as one word at nursery. In fact, his teacher has decided to alert the SENCO and put him on their radar. I’m actually really pleased about this as it’s all useful evidence should we decide to seek another referral later. However, the fact he’s completely silent is a little concerning.

Despite this, his teacher is actually really impressed with his non-verbal communication. She’s spent a lot of time with Dexter and is confident he understands her. He’s also able to reveal what he’s thinking and any needs he might have by signing and his facial expressions. Apparently these are some of the clearest and most expressive his teacher has seen, and have served him well so far. In fact, his little personality is incredibly endearing and he’s quickly won the admiration of staff and his peers.

At the moment, I’m not overly concerned about his speech. Yes, we’re desperate to have a two-way conversation with him and find out even more about him, but we’ve waited this long so what’s a few more months? Intellectually and academically he’s proving to be on point, even if it’s harder to gauge.

Shock #3 - He only interacts with one member of staff

I’ve read about this before. It’s a form of separation anxiety where he’s found a substitute for me in a nursery leader. He’ll rush straight to her when he enters nursery and hug her leg when he’s feeling anxious or needs some assistance. I found myself apologising for this as I can imagine it being irritating when she is trying to teach 15 other children, but she quickly informed me this was common and actually flattering.

He’s actually picked the best person to latch onto. Mrs B is actually the head of his unit and hugely experienced. Him spending so much time with her means she’s had the perfect opportunity to observe him, and has probably led to her being so quick to alert the SENCO. She’s definitely very knowledgeable about our little guy and we can only attribute this to the obvious interest they’ve taken in one another. The first thing she said when we sat down at the rickety table in the school hall was “he’s a real delight” which instantly allayed any nerves.

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So a few shocks and some really detailed feedback about our little guy. If I wasn’t 100% confident in his nursery before, I am now.

I’m not disappointed with Dexter at all. I’m not overly concerned about any of the above either. In fact, I’m seriously proud of him. He has revealed himself to be a sweet, kind and polite little boy who is happy to share toys, sit quietly and respect the rules of the school. He’s wormed his way into the affections of the staff despite showing a clear preference for one teacher and refusing to talk. Craig and I (and his teachers) are all really excited to see where he goes from here.

 

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