So Heidi is definitely an advanced little thing. She was wide awake and alert just days after she emerged courtesy of the doctors scalpel. She was grabbing things within a fortnight, and holding her own bottle at 3.5 months. She’s even capable of basic communication and will grab at her teeth if you ask her why she’s crying.

Now, there are signs she’s about to take off. I’ve lovingly compiled these into a 6-stage guide to crawling. Just when will she reach the elusive 6th stage? Place your bets now…

1 - ENJOYING HER BELLY

She’s always loved tummy time. At two months, I remember hesitantly placing her on her stomach and popping my fingers in my ears, waiting for the screams. But they never came. It was love at first flip and she couldn’t get enough of it. Now she’ll try to right herself during bum changes, and will sleep every single night on her tummy. It’s become an evening ritual to pop her in her cot on her back, kiss her goodnight, then watch her cheekily give us the slip on the baby monitor.

2 - REACHING FOR TEETHERS, SHOES, WINE GLASSES…

Recently however she’s started to take a greater interest in her toys. She’ll eye them up with precision and actively stretch for them. The look of consternation her face is similar to that of a University Challenge contestant who has been asked a question on popular music. It’s not just her teethers either. Heidi will use the power of telekinesis to get her clammy mitts on just about anything.

3 - SKYDIVING

This isn’t a new phenomenon. She’s been pulling this stunt for the last month. Balancing on her belly and sticking her limbs out. In this position she can do a 360 super quick like a excited dog. There’s definitely a yoga theme going on here.

4 - MOONCRAWLING

A delightful take on moonwalking, this involves a backward shuffle. Imagine an 80′s dancer doing The Worm, and you won’t go far wrong. This will often lead to her trapping herself under the dining table and various other non mummy-friendly places.

5 - FLOOR-TWERKING

The newest addition to the crawling countdown, this move would earn Cheryl was-Cole a bloody fortune. It’s an all-fours hip thrust most commonly found on an entirely different kind of website to this one.

So there you have it. At just shy of 5 months, Heidi has whizzed through stages 1-5 and is on the final furlong.

*** GIVEAWAY ***

Given I think she’ll be crawling before the 6 month mark, if you leave me a comment with any date from now until the 24th October 2014 (and your email address or twitter handle), and she starts crawling on this day, I will personally send you a chocolate bar.

Place your bets now!

One comment per person / Maximum of 10 correct guesses or I’ll be raiding the kids piggy banks / UK only